“Addiction was giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is giving up one thing to get everything back.”
-Heard in a CMA meeting
I never wanted to be a drug addict growing up. Who does!? But it all felt so exhilarating in the beginning. Crystal was seductive—it lured me in with a parade of beautiful strangers, taking me into a world where pain and time didn’t exist. Losing a job or two was OK—I’d always find another one. I lied to friends and family, and they always forgave me.
But as I sank lower and lower, so did my company. The beautiful people had changed—now they seemed to be ugly monsters. Polluted with shame, mistrust, and hopelessness, I found I fit right in. By the end I was no longer employable, and my apologies to my family and friends meant nothing. I was totally alone. I’d put all my faith into a glass pipe and a torch.
How’d I find my way out? I asked for help, put down the pipe, and did the work. In surrendering to a loving higher power, I’ve found a better way to live. In exchange for giving up that one thing, I’ve been given many of life’s gifts—more than I could imagine. I have friends who support me, colleagues who can rely on me, and a family who trusts me. Best of all, I love myself again.
When I was using, my life got smaller and smaller. Each day I’m sober and do the work, my life gets bigger and bigger.