Voices of the Fellowship: Meditations

A New Experience

“The longer we stick around, the less we know.” —Heard in the rooms. Addiction is a deep groove. It’s tough to break patterns when we’ve spent years doing the same thing again and again. Before we even found drugs, many of us were already locked into old stories about who we are or what we’re […]

We’re Only Human

“Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings” –Step 7 Many of us use Step 7 to beat ourselves up. When we fall back into familiar patterns of behavior, we say to ourselves, “Why can’t I stop doing this? Why am I still acting out this way?”Our sponsors compassionately reply: “Because you’re human.” These questions assume […]

Building Trust

“My trust in people and, more importantly, in myself has been restored over time.” —Sponsorship, More than Just Friendship – Voices of the Fellowship: Our Recovery Trust was a foreign concept in my active addiction. Everyone in every situation seemed to be unreliable. I couldn’t count on the people I used with, I couldn’t trust […]

Letting Go of Entitlement

“Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.” —Step Seven of the Twelve Steps For many of us, using crystal meth was the ultimate form of entitlement. We demanded to feel good all the time. Unable to tolerate any form of discomfort—physical, emotional, or spiritual—we rejected life on life’s terms. Instead, we chased a euphoric high. […]

A Brand-New Me

“Be still and know that I am God.” —Heard in the rooms. When I first arrived in CMA, I didn’t see myself reflected back at me. As a black trans femme, I felt alone, unsure about how I would fit in. Would recovery even work for me? I was scared of the whole process, but […]

Welcome Home

“In CMA, we may be the last house on the block, but the light is always on, and the door is always open.” —Heard in the rooms. We crawled into the rooms of CMA, feeling like we had worn out our welcome. We lost the trust of our family and friends. We used up all […]

What Is the Problem?

“Crystal Meth is not the problem, I’m the problem!” —Heard in meetings. We all know crystal meth is a powerful drug—when we met Tina, a lot of us were hooked at once. We were no match for it. Everything seemed fine “B.C.” (before crystal) and it all fell apart “A.C.” (after crystal). If only we […]

Nice Caftan!

“Wear your recovery like a loose garment.” —Heard in the rooms I missed my meeting today—there goes my 90 in 90! I’m only on Step 2! I forgot to send my gratitude list! Does this sound familiar? We addicts can be so hard on ourselves, especially in our early recovery. It’s like we’re punishing ourselves […]

Jealousy and Envy

“Jealousy is the reflection of my own dissatisfaction” -Heard in the rooms. When we are jealous of others in the rooms of CMA, we risk turning recovery into a competition. When we hear about someone getting that job, that house, or that relationship maybe we wonder why they are getting those things before us. As […]

Tormentor / Teacher

“You spot it, you got it.” — Heard in the rooms One of the challenges in early recovery is dealing with difficult people. Some addicts are annoying or loud, or play the victim. They’re certainly not working their program the way we think they should. They hold the meeting hostage by ignoring the timekeeper. They […]

Unconditional Friend

“We become an unconditional friend to ourselves. We get a simple and direct relationship with the way we are.” -What About Meditation? (CMA Pamphlet) In the rooms of CMA we learn to treat ourselves with the same kindness we show to other recovering addicts. Slowly we begin to internalize the love and acceptance we receive […]

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